Neutral, Fleeting, and Senseless Dribble
FleetusMcGee posted in Snapshots
By: Eli
I sat there. Her words just poured out, not having any purpose, any meaning, any self-respect. She talked about how stupid everyone else was, and how unimportant their views were. He stared at her, intent on every word. He chewed his take-out pizza; every word said was followed by a very pronounced mulch, mulch, mulch.
Every word said made me cringe and wince and flinch. All night I cringed, all night I winced and all night I flinched. Every word said was a direct assault on someone else’s lifestyle. Every word said brought up avid points for an avid hypocrite. Every gulp of cheap wine, every bite that mulched away at flavorless food, every worried look, it all brought me closer to the edge of a reality known only to those who have lost all good and
bad intentions and are left simply feeling neutral.
In neutrality one is increasingly aware that every waking moment must be refunded with two moments
of sleep. Every person blamed for a petty problem should blame someone else for their own issues. A realization that, that girl who doesn’t want to change the world but will because her parents make her, is meant for it. We are all meant to do what we do, when we do it.
When I fell off this reality’s edge, I was meant to. When he mulched greasy pizza, it was destiny mulching his greasy pizza. When she flooded the room with endless dribble, it was fate’s endless dribble.
Nothing makes sense and the senseless being that made everything, intended it in an almost obscenely neutral way to never fully make sense. To never find the lost puzzle piece, to never truly say never. To never be here, be real or be true. To always be senselessly neutral and to always be aware of it in others. I sat there neutral for a fleeting second, then I moved on.
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